Stress and the Expected

Have you ever had the situation when an event was anticipated and yet when it occurred you were caught off guard at the emotions that were attached to it? From an intellectual perspective, we are confident that we have it all well in hand, yet emotions get the best of us. They just seem to bubble up from nowhere. Not only that, at times they can appear to be out of character. The reactions from those around us range from shock to bewilderment.

For those of us who like to think we have matters well in hand, this is a real curveball. Lots of upfront planning, looking at every outcome, option, and possibilities, yet we overlook the most obvious: our EMOTIONS. This is all followed by an intellectual conversation with trying self-address a host of feelings including selfishness, resentment, and guilt.

And then someone will cross our path and share the phrase: “everything is as it is supposed to be.” I can say with certainty that there is not a chance in the world that anything like that will resonate with you because of where you are. In fact, it will just add to the already growing negative self-talk.

So what to do?

First step is STOP the momentum. Spiritual Leader Abraham Hicks shares the notion of taking a nap, which is the best option if the time and place permits. For me, I often set a timer for just 20 minutes and away I go. It is like that reset button on an electronic device. You get a fresh start partway through the day.

When this is not possible, find a space to sit quietly for a few minutes with the intent to quiet the mind.   I suggest choosing an object or a picture that the touch or view brings you to a loving place. We all have those treasures and it is important to identify it before the situation arises; no time then to be looking for these special things because you will not be able to find them. Spend a few minutes feeling love and appreciation for your treasure.

The objective is to bring you back to a neutral state of being.  From that place of ‘neutral’, you have an opportunity to see things from a new perspective. Your body has been on “high alert”. We are responsive and reactive to each conversation and event.   Neutral allows for possibilities to enter the conversation.  It allows us to entertain options, consider feelings and perspectives. We are now facing the challenge from a “heart” or emotion view. Knowing that emotions move much more quickly than thoughts we are now in a position to get out in front of what we are facing. Actually take charge of our emotions before they take charge of us.

Finally, to offer the forgiveness to ourselves for the path we have walked. Without that step what happens is all of the negative emotions settle deeply within our being. As the situation passes, we forget about them, we dismiss the discomfort and we carry on. We do that often; for some of us, it is daily. You can just imagine the accumulation of emotions that find themselves locked within us. The time is NOW to offer love and forgiveness to these emotions, freeing them from our body and allowing us to face the next challenge with a fresh start!

Sounds simple, as I write these words, I reflect on how my last few days have gone. Time to take my own advice.

With love and appreciation,


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